The need to control

As human beings, we usually feel a need to control and be in control of everything in and around us. We love being in control of situations around us because we would like to acheive 2 things:

1. We would like to see that the surroundings situations meet our expectatins. When expectations are met, our ego ( a description of ourself which is pre-programmed in our memory) is satisfied.

2. Human beings are scared of submitting to the course of Nature. We are scared of risking it, because we dont know what will happen when we submit to our lives to the course of nature. We think we will become powerless. But in this submission there is an awareness and harmony with nature.

We cannot control all aspects of our life completely. If we try to control everything in our lives, we will start planning and thinking every moment and stop feeling the joy in it. The fleeting moment is very short. You cannot accomplish everything in one moment. What is in our hands is feeling the present moment with awareness and acting with inspiration which comes out of that deep self-awareness. This action aligns us harmoniously with the past and future.

When we act with inner awareness we are aware of our body, our emotions, the subtle energies around us ( the energies of nature, environment around us, ex: the way the birds, cats and dogs feel the surroudings with sharpened/primal senses).

When 100% of our time is given to being aware and acting out of that awareness every moment, we will be lost in love and wonder of nature. There is no element of disappointment or worry. We will not have time to think of past, hate someone, compare ourselves with someone else, think of acquiring more by greed or be worried of the future. All we will do is feel and act in self-awareness.

Fall in love with the present moment. There is a divine message in it. Life is not meant to be wasted in misery. Every fleeting moment has bliss in it. Feel it fully : pleasure or pain, and love it and act out of your inner connection with divine. There is no need to control anything, control is established in free-will and self-awareness.

Father's day

By the years he has changed his image and role in my life. Like a moving river carving out magnificent valleys amidst mountains.....he has molded his presence in my life as a friend, coach, critic, provider and offcourse father.

Writing about someone who gave you life is probably simple and challenging at the same time. When you give birth to life and those pair of innocent eyes are looking up at you, it motivates you to do your all to nurture and care. To be your best. And that's what I think of him to be - I mean the best of the best!

If I look back now, I felt most of my dad when I started living away from home. I relived all those moments with him where he gave me the lessons of life, be it during my driving classes or on the badminton court.

The lessons keep coming in even today. And he grows higher and farther by my reasons and judgment. His image in my life keeps changing and falls into different roles dynamically....

I see him more as a sturdy mountain sustaining life amidst changing seasons, upright and looking at challenges in the face. I am glad I am me and he is him. Its just an excuse to wish happiness that he is my father!

...Mirror

Staring at at myself in the mirror is harder when I try to look beyond the apparent.
I feel an inner struggle to unravel those myriad of emotions and truths hidden beneath....
I also wish I'd never get to their bottom.... and just let them take their course....

Idlis and Dosais....mmm.......!!

Saturday night ,10:00 pm and it is buzzing energetic at Sarvanaa Bhavan, one of the most famous south Indian Restaurants at Sunnyvale. It is almost a compulsory haunt for every south Indian foodie out here. Surely there is something so homely about it. For me it is a pathway back in time to my good ol' college days in Bangalore.....and my home.

This place has slightly dirty floors, and an aroma of MTR masala and fresh filter coffee fills up the air, probably stimulating the taste buds. And to the hungry, it brings in a vivid imagination about the food which they'd wanna order. In fact I use the term "by 2 coffee" whenever I visit this place. It might seem to be an odd term out here, still the waiter gets the term well enough, and it brings in loads of college canteen memories to me.

Engineering college days, where we all used to find the canteen - however unkept or inadequate,
still a place to unwind and relax. For us every thing we ordered was 'by two' or 'by n' to be more specific. Our dosais used to evaporate by the time it reached the table from the counter. We shared everything including idlis or joys en sorrows, and it all happened in the canteen....!

I remember finding various categories of people haunting the college canteen. Students who used to bunk classes, the ones thrown out of class, hostelites, candidates preparing for an interview or an exam, cosy love birds and the very happening lot.

In fact the canteen table was a platform where several engineering concepts were dissected and seen in a new light, most likely in a lunch break over an exam or internal.

Sarvanaa Bhavan also reminds me of all the South Indian fast foods in in Bangalore, where in less than a few hundred square feet area there is enough place and price to make and serve fresh Idlis, Dosais , Vadas right out of the kitchen. Mostly these places are named ending with "Shree" or "Darshini"....Dasashree, Sapthashree, Meghashree...etc.

I wonder what the Shree/Darshini tag has to do with South Indian food. Nevertheless I loved them....and I visit the Sarvanaa Bhavan or Madras Cafe (another South Indian favorite) whenever I crave for that feeling.

It is quite common to find the Sambhar very perfect in these restaurants....and also the concept of unlimited servings of Sambhar orchutney is quite tempting. The golden brown and crispy dosai finish along with steaming idli rice preparations lightly garnished with coriander leaves or cashews......mmmmmm!

The ingredients for these preparations are quite universal. Yet they taste best when savored at a South Indian Fast food place.....served fresh and ready to slurpp!

I miss the waiters parroting the menu all in one breath....Plain dosai,Set Dosai, Masala Dosai, Rava Dosai, Rava Idli, Plain Idli, ....etc. Even today when I place an order at a South Indian restaurant I prefer to hear it out from someone rather than reading through the menu...

Well...to the joy of tasting Idlis and Dosais!...cheers!

Back after a break...

Mmm....long time since I actually blogged. What do I write....many important thoughts have been wanting to get to the blogpost...but like the waves of the ocean, they have risen , slapped the shore and gone back.

A few memorable moments since the last post.

Valentine's day had its magic on me. I had this magical smile all day and couldn't hide what I had been feeling. And most people who greeted me, greeted me with a really magical smile. Lesson: you get what you give....it starts with as simple a thing as a smile!

In the Caltrain station the 8:30 pm train had got delayed by one hour on Valentine's day. I was tired, hungry and wanted to get home. But the Valentine day magic had managed that heavenly smile on my face. Many of those complaining jokers at the station turned towards me to talk to me. And I wondered why they chose me, to talk to, though I hadn't even spoken a word. Lesson: you can smile if you can't say a word....

Many ups and downs, tears and chuckles, suffocations and reliefs over the past few days . Feels like a snapshot into the kaledioscope called life. Lesson: Nothing lasts forever...not even changes.....

Till next time....Chaoo

Being in love

This is my usual ride to work on the Caltrain. It is a beautiful morning and I am thankful God gifted it to me. I am sitting by the window seat with the my laptop on. The new trains have uninterrupted power supplies to laptops. I couldn't get luckier and wouldn't trade this morning for anything in the world!

Its drizzling gently and my eyes are finding beauty in every pattern of the rain drops. I am riding on the various pleasant emotions ruled by the tunes running in my headphones.I am happy and in love with this morning, in love with myself and what life has offered me in its countless mannerisms.

There are so many tasks listed on my 'Things to do ' list. Still my mind wants to be in love with everything around and within me. Just before I start the windmills of my mind I have a thought to share.

Isn't it so important to be in love? [To all those set of people who think love means an attraction between a man and a woman, I would ask you to expand your stream of thinking (with all due respects!).]

The idea of love has been more enigmatic than I thought it to be. There is a love of a mother and a child, between siblings, between friends, between strangers or between a man and a woman. Does it have the same credibility in all cases and in its purest form?

I have felt the love of a child and a mother ,a sibling, a friend or a spouse. It has felt quite the same and different at various points of time. As much as I would like to know the difference, I'd like to believe that love feels the same when it is free of the labels it is used for.

Here's a thought to being in love and the joy and celebration attached to it! For being in love this day, with this moment, for what it has offered to you (pain or pleasure) and what you have to offer in return...

I pose , you pose and we all pose!

It always keeps me wondering how to pose for a photograph. It is harder than I think. Sometimes I have to think I am the beauty queen and sometimes I like to think real serious and demure. The photographs turn out bad anyway..... lol!

I do really admire people who look good in photographs. Its of noticeable value to look nice in a photograph. And boy! I wonder how people know their face value. Its not whether you think you are good looking or not, but more of how you make people look at you. 'Smart is beautiful' in today's world. And it has outsmarted the -'Beautiful is beautiful' long time ago.

I have never really figured out the logic of posing for a photograph based on the situation. For instance: how do you pose for a photograph in a group photo....and what if you are in a dance party, or say you are at a temple for a puja.

The bottom line is - Is it really important to know how to pose for a camera? I think it sure is. For, photographs are moments of life captured . They take you back in time and keep you in touch with people and events.

Coming back to posing: some people bear the same look for all photographs. The - "Howzzat?" look. The - "I look good" -look. Then there are a few others who give the -"I am soo sweet !!!"- look. A few of them have the- "Hail Hitler!" look.

I know a few elderly gentlemen who have the -"Why should I smile?"- look. My kiddo cousin used to have the same problem too (giggles). Most (not all) moms have the -" I am in control!" -look. And the list goes on... You can easily guess what these people will look like in another photograph in another attire........Yes! they look the same in all of them.

I dont even want to size the way kids think and feel about posing for a photograph! They're way too creative and experimental about it. After all they know no rules for it and give a damn about sticking to any.

In the end why should we limit ourselves to posing for a photograph only. Aren't we all posing always in life. You have a hard day at work and you pose the - "I'm doing fine" look when you meet your spouse at home or friends at a party. Isn't that what life is all about. In the end, it really matters how you posed for all those moments. They form your life when you look back and connect you to people, events and places.

I pose! you pose! and we all pose! Lets pose well and make a good life out of it.